and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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