It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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