I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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