Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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