No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
