One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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