I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
