Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
