Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
