We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
