if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
