You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
