white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
