I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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