I just cut my nipple shaving
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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