Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
