All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
