they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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