Little spoons don't ask big questions
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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