I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
