Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
