if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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