How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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