Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
