i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
