You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
