My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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