I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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