I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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