just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
People in love make me want to vomit
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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