they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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