Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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