her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
