She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
