Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
