Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
