He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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