I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
