we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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