she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
