Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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