We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
