dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
this beer tastes like vomit already
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
