Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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