Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
