Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
