Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
