Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
