I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
