well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
