She is in my trunk
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
