I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
