the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
