The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
