Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
