Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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