Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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