Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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