I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
