I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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