you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
