i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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