he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
